back again

Well I see that the page is getting a few hits, but not much in the way of feedback. Feel free to send a PM if you have any questions or would like something included, since this is still a part time work in progress, I am adding things as they come up.

Sometime in the next coupl eof weeks my wife will also be posting somethings to give her perspective of things.

As mentioned in my last post Getherblacked.com is one of our most common sites to check on the web. As I mentioned it is one of the most honest sites out there, as the moderators do a great job of screening and removing troublemakers and fakers. Something that anyone that has spent much time on the internet knows the web is full of. For a community site is one of the best we have found yet.

As for dating and hookups my vote has to go for
Online Booty Call mostly due to the amount of activity it sees and the options available for free. Not to mention we have had far more success than from other sites even AFF. Although the messaging is limited, as it is with all personal sites with a basic membership, the simple yes or hell no option for adding people to your list of potential booty calls, and the straight forward chat/video chat. Makes things a lot simpler.

On the subject of dating or hook up sites. One of another series of frequently asked questions is how do I go about it? Now both my wife and myself have heard this asked countless times. Which altough it would seem pretty straight forward, but then given some of the things we have seen obviously it isn't.
First thing to do is sign up for a free account and see what you have for options with a basic account. When setting up the basic account take the time to asnwer all of the relevant questions honetly, don't worry too much about elaborating too mcuh on the profile till you know you will be keeping it. Then do a profile search to see how many active members there are in your region. If there are very few members or very few in your surrounding area you will probably not have much luck on the site. Once you find a good site upload a good face photo of yourself or significant other. If you are not comforatble with having a photo direclty associated with your profile then set it for a by request if the site allows it. Keep in mind that profiles with photos will generatte a lot more activity than those that don't. Most sites also allow you to set up photo albums that are either public or only available to people in your network along with intro recordings video or voice. Bottom line the more there is of you the higher yor odds.
Now that you have decided to keep the profile it is also a good time and put in more detailed information both about yourself and what you are looking for. Do not be afraid to be brutally honest! the more honest you are the better things will go. That does not however mean you still won't come accross your share of idiiots that can't read, best advise here just ignore them.
From here out it is pretty basic. Log into the account everyday or ever couple of days. Search for members in your area, respond to new requests, and above all be honest.

past due update

Well so much for time flying when you are having fine.  It has been almost 2 months since my last post on here, and care of some not so fun real life issues that time has just flown past.

Over the last two months there hasn't been too much time for any recreational fun at all, unfortunately.  However we have both spent some time on a site we found recently http://www,getherblacked.com/  and if anything the time we have both spent talking to members and couples on there reinforces the main reason for starting this blog.  As online communities go the moderators do a pretty damned good job weeding out the dumb shits, fakes, wannabes, etc.  They have a great community over there with, as the name suggests, the primary purpose of introducing white women to interracial sex.  If you are looking for some personal chat time to ask questions or something a little kinkier this is definitely the place.

There are so many variations to this lifestyle it can get a little confusing, and sometimes I think some people get a little confused about what part is fantasy, what part is reality, what part is role playing, and what part is very serious.  Now I am not going to knock anyone persons particular pleasure, but there are times when something either really cracks us up or rocks us back as being way overboard.  One big rule is know what you want and what your limits are and be clear and firm on them, if you are open to trying something new then be clear on a when you want to stop if it gets too uncomfortable.

Things have been kind of hectic.

Sorry things have been kind of hectic lately with finals and everything else going on.  Trying to get links set up and get the blog recognized on search engines has been rather time consuming.  It is good to see some of the members of getherblacked.com coming on to check out the blog.  

I am also currently putting together a series of clothing designs for the hotwives section.  Hopefully the links for that will be up soon.   http://www.cafepress.com/IRSwingers

One of the most commonly asked questions

I will be adding things slowly over the next week between various links, guides and general commentary.  For starters I am putting together a common FAQ from our experiences to date, which will include some helpful information.

One of the most common questions I get is "how did you convince your to try....?" which I mentioned previously.  There isn't a simple straight forward answer to this, sorry to say, it took almost 5 years.  Also you need to keep in mind that not all women are the same, some approaches work better for some than others, and sadly if you don't know how to talk to your other half by now then you should probably not go down this road just yet.

So that wasn't too encouraging or helpful right?  Communication is an essential part of a relationship and if you are looking to open up the terms of your marriage communication is a REALLY big part to prevent a disaster.  If you feel comfortable enough in this area then by all means proceed.

Now to opening her up to the idea.  This may be very easy and straight forward or may require some manipulation of the situation.  The sad fact is we live in a very sexually restrictive society with entirely too many double standards.  (Yeah I know, SHOCKER!)  Because of this very few women will just openly admit "Hey yeah I would love to sleep around."  Needless to say your odds of success of just coming right out and saying it are not going to get the best results.  If she doesn't seem to be in the mood or very receptive don't push it, back off and try and a more opportune time.  For me it was a combination of a lot of manipulating the situation and a lot of conversations about it.

Here is one example of what I mean by manipulating the situation:

Regardless of whether your other half enjoys vibrators and dildos or has "never" tried one pick a new one out for her.  Forget about going and getting one of the mammoth 10"+ ones to start get a black or mulatto colored one between 7"-9", something at least an inch bigger in length and circumference than yourself.  Anything bigger and odds are she will refuse to have anything to do with it.  Now there are a number of ways you can work into using it the first time, here again you should know the best approach.  Start with a romantic dinner at home with wine, or alcohol of choice, pamper her the whole evening.  Then if she is not into porn get a movie with her favorite black actor, one she obviously finds attractive, and let her drool for a bit.  If she is interested in porn work into it with a interracial video, something that shows what she will like, but key to this is the actors are very well endowed and the actresses are really into it, not obviously faking.  There are a number of commercial wife sharing and cuckolding films on the market currently.  Through out the movie caress her lightly in her erogenous zones, the key is not to distract her but heighten what she is seeing and feeling.  Comment occasionally on the actors size and how much the actress is REALLY enjoying it, here again just enough to let her know it is also really turning you on.  If you feel confident enough you can try and start getting her to visualize herself in the porn stars place, lead her into it don't shove her there.  "I bet you would love to get fucked like that" is probably not your best approach at this point, yet.  When she is ready you can try and introduce the new toy.  Start by slowly rubbing her clit with it, don't just announce it or make a big production out of it, you still want to keep her focused on the movie.  When you start to slide it in her do it slowly but try and match the rhythm of the actor on screen, until you have it all the way in side of her.  Depending on what she is used to this may take awhile, but as I mentioned the key is keep her attention focused on the screen, and before you know it she is having one of the most intense orgasms she has probably had in awhile.

Assuming you get a positive reaction keep reinforcing her desire by making sex more intense and enjoyable when she is fantasizing about another lover.  Get her to start associating better sex with the big black dildo, by putting more effort into make her come harder and longer than normal.  When she says she is not in the mood to think about that right now give a quick less than stellar performance.

Another approach is a little more complicated, but just as effective, if done right.  Wait till she has been asleep for about a half hour, a good sound sleep.  The start lightly whispering in her ear a fantasy, preferably one she has stated.  As you are whispering in her ear start rubbing her erogenous areas, being as detailed and as sensuously erotic as you can.  As her body starts to respond pick up the pace and intensity of the action.  Before you know it she has woken up from a very intense dream to a even more intense orgasm.

Well that is it for today.  In the next section I will provide some ideas on how to proceed once you have her attention to the idea.

New to the game

Not so much new to the swinging scene, been at it for a few years, but new to the blog scene.  Since I get asked so many times how did you get into this? or How did you convince your wife to....?  I thought what the hell I would put something like this together and see what happens.

So as the as the spring semester ends for school I will be putting together some posts for the blog advice, stories, commentary, and such.

Not the longest or most exciting post, but it's late and my wife and I both have very early finals in the morning, so....